Liz, I miss you.

So everyone... I haven't come back in a year nearly as life got... well... like life.   On January 15th my best friend passed away.  I don't know how to deal with this and will be coming and posting here I think more often... I hope more often.

I miss her and I feel like I'm falling apart... but somehow I am going to get through this with God.  I don't understand why she was taken, why she had to go through the things that she did... but I know that God has a plan.

It hurts a lot right now, more than I thought possible.  Maybe one of these days I'll be able to write her a letter but not yet... it's too close and too much for me to be able to do that yet.

To anyone else out there going through the loss of a loved one.. please know you aren't alone in your grief.  Please know that God loves you, that He is willing to take you in His arms.  Reach out to Him and He will be there.

Staying with Jeff...

I've spent the last few days with Jeff at his apartment. Things are going okay though there have been moments. I will probably be going home on Saturday. I need some time by myself which is normal I think.

I've been working on my homework for therapy.. listing goals and expressing the obstacles to those goals through artwork.

We'll see...

The Knife of Never Letting Go

This book started out a little... odd.. but soon grew into a action packed novel. I admit that at first I almost put it aside. I almost stopped reading.

I am so glad I didn't.

Patrick Ness the author of the book, laid it all out perfectly. I love the characters and how they interplay... it's all amazing. He also has me on the edge of my seat for the second book in the triology which is due out in July - ish if my research is correct. I finished this book tonight and simply can't wait to find out what happens next.

I can't even describe what the book is about because it's just so different. I'm going to make a try though. Todd Hewitt is the last boy in Prentisstown which is located in the New World, on another planet. The really weird part, they can hear each others thoughts! This is referred to as "Noise".

To find out more, read the book! I highly recomend you doing this.

I'm giving it four stars because it really had a slow start and didn't grab me until a little ways in. But that could just have been me, and you may find you like it so much you'll give it the gleaming five star status.

Ways to Live Forever

This book made me cry hard. It's about this boy who is living with terminal leukemia and all the things he wants to do before he dies. It's an amazing story. Did I mention that it made me cry? I just started it tonight and ended up finishing it because it's not too big of a book, and it's actually directed more towards children so it was a very easy read.

I highly recommend it. I'm giving it a four star rating because I loved it, but there was room for improvement. I'm not really sure what, but the style of the book left me wanting more. I think it is great for children though who probably would not pick up on this mystery lacking.

To Be.. or Not to Be... Married

So, Jeff and I may be getting back together.
I know all the reasons not to. I know it may not be a good idea, that I might be doing it for the wrong reasons... all of that. I still miss him and love him and really want him in my life.

I don't know what to do anymore, to go with my feelings or what everyone is telling me to do.

What is the right thing and how do you know?

Anyway, not much else to say.